I am still alive after my triathlon, and I promise to post all about it. Right now I need to post about something I have dreaded all my life.
CANCER
I can be a supporter of it, and I think I could even try to survive it, but I don't want to be without a Mother because of it. We are looking for a handbook on how to handle life when your Mom has cancer. If any of you know of such a book, it would help us out. Maybe, when this is over, we can write one. It might be a little obscene, and have some swear words, but it would definitely be funny.
How am I supposed to react to my Mom having the very same cancer that took my Grandpa's life in 2 weeks? Cry, get mad, Stomp up and down, let it sink in a little, cry some more, deny that she might die, Make a joke, and then just want to be with my family.
What do I say to my Mom when she talks about what she is going to do to us from Heaven? Cry, ask her to check if there are more babies for me, tell our grandparents I love them, catch myself saying these crazy things and cry, ask her to be a guardian angel to my kids.
How do I ever leave here and go home to Vegas? Do I? I will never regret spending too much time with my Mom and family.
Why do we sit around and laugh so hard during something so horrible? If someone stood outside and heard us in her hospital room, they would think we are morbid. It is just our way of dealing.
Things I am thankful for:
- Brother and Sisters-That all four of us just happened to be together
- Aaron's long distance support
- Phone calls from friends
- The Johnson babysitting service, Tyson, Lauren, Holli, June......
- Dark movies-Nobody can see you cry and it feels really good to get it out
- Excedrin
- Kids that are so patient and don't complain
- Text Messaging
We are keeping a blog up to date with all the daily news. Please leave a comment we would love to hear from each of you. See Cancer Sucks.
7 comments:
Jill,
I am so, so sorry about all of this. I am so amazed at how you are all so close and what a wonderful family you all are a part of. Our prayers are with you and your family at this time and please let me know if I can help in any way. We love you all so much.
Jill, I am so sorry. If you need me to do anything, just ask. I can take your kids anytime during the day on any day. I have a history of cancer in my family but, i can't imagine one of my parents being diagnosed with it. if i can help in any way, let me know. i would love to watch your kids. your in my prayers!
My heart is just breaking - I know how close you are to your Mom. What a blessing that all of you happened to be together. Sometimes laughter is the best way to cope - you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
Jill I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Hang in there and spend lots of time together. Your family is in our prayers.
Jill--you know we support you and are praying for your mom and for your family. --Andrew
Jill, I was so saddened by the news of your mom. I know some of the emotions you are going through because of dealing with my mom's cancer. Cancer DOES suck! I know it has made me grateful for the past and appreciate any time I get to spend with her.You are a strong person. Hang in there. We love you and will be praying for you and your family.
Hi Jill,
It doesn't seem fair to only find out a short time away. I think that Paula is such a happy person though. She'll be preparing your home in heaven and will see you again. You and your mom are such good examples of a mother-daughter relationship. I hope I can be the kind of mother to my children that she is to you and your siblings. We love you and know that this is not an easy time for you. You know you can go to the temple for strength and peace. Love ya.
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